Doughnuts and Daydreams

Recently I spent a few days on holiday for my 40th birthday; relaxing in a beautiful, quaint little cottage, overlooking miles and miles of breathtaking views. The kind of views where you take that extra deep breath, raise your eyebrows and realise just how much tension you've been holding in your shoulders for the last goodness knows how long!

It was stunning.

The warmth and bubbles of the hot tub soothed away every single ache and pain (and there's a lot of them!) while I simply just watched the horses laze about in the fields, laughed at my son as he spent hours playing with the farmyard dogs and gazed up at the Eagle hovering above me- yep, an Eagle and he kept coming back. Pretty sure he thought I was his next meal!

I can't tell you how much I needed this break, how much I didn't realise I needed this break. Sometimes we think we're ok, we think we have it all under control, we keep pushing on and fighting through the absolute nightmare that is life, determined not to let it break us. But sometimes, we just need to stop. Stop and rest.

I don't know about you but life can hit pretty hard sometimes. It can pile up, attack from every direction, seem relentless and feel like you're wading through thick, muddy waters just trying to get through to the end of the day in one piece.

I find myself daydreaming what it would be like to live a simple life sometimes. One without 24/7 pain. One without all the hardships and trials that never seem to end. One without all the life lessons.

I find myself daydreaming and wondering what that's like.

But then I realise how far I've come. Who I am now as opposed to who I used to be.

The trials and fires I've been through weren't for nothing- I have grown and changed because of them. They've made me who I am and I much prefer this version of me than the old one!

There's a bigger picture going on, I don't quite see at times, I have to remind myself of that and trust and have faith.

Things always seem to look better on the other side or elsewhere but it doesn't necessarily mean it is.

My son had bought some doughnuts while we were on holiday and they looked delicious! Chocolate iced doughnuts with sprinkles on and as soon as I saw them, I wanted one! My mouth started watering and my tummy rumbled. Everything in me wanted this doughnut and was telling me that it would be the best thing in the world, that it would taste so good, that I would love it and be happy once I'd eaten it and I'd feel better.

Wrong.

It tasted like cardboard.

I hope you're laughing... I am! It was dry, genuinely tasted like cardboard (although I'm not sure how I know what cardboard tastes like!) and I have no idea what was going on with the chocolate but it definitely didn't taste like chocolate!

So- my point is, we may have it rough sometimes and we may wish for a better life, but not everything that looks like a better life or seems like it's better or good for us, is.

Sometimes it's just wrapped in pretty packaging, looks good but is actually just another bad thing for us or is nowhere near as good as it looks.

We have to trust that God knows what's best for us and is taking us on the right path and the journey that is best for us.

Learn the lessons that need to be learnt as you go along (because there will be lessons as you go through the fires!) and push on through the battle known as- life.